memories from a song #1

not talking about a year,
no not three or four
i dont want that kind of forever in my life anymore
forever always seems to be around when things begin, but forever never seems to be around
when things end
so give me your forever.
please? your forever
not a day less will do
from you

people spend so much time
every single day
runnin around all over town givin
their forever away
but no, not me, i wont
let my forever go
and now i hope that i can find my forever a home

like a hand-less clock with numbers on an infinite of time
no not the forever found only in the mind
forever always seems to be around when things begin
but forever never seems to be around when things end

so give me your forever...please? your forever
not a day less will do
from you

these words take me to that four-way traffic light, or through the K-mart parking lot (coming in by the dumpsters and driving at break-neck speed out the front to try to catch the light by Denny's onto campus). i am sitting low in the passenger's side, staring out the window, lulled to a comatose state by the blur of trees and buildings in the muted blue of morning. i am thinking about class and the soft scratch of no. 2 pencils (the mechanical kind now that we're in community college--although i do miss the feel of slender polished wood between my index and middle fingers) on notebook paper. i am thinking about the weather and how it will affect my lunch location, and about thick, hot fries right out of the basket with plenty of ketchup and salt and--if i'm very lucky--a chicken finger shared by some generous soul (probably a sister or a friend as close as a sister). i am thinking about the echo of our voices on the walls of building 10 and if the seats will be free in front of the new television and how long we can throw quarters against the wall (as if we were still in high school) before someone comes out to say "stop!" as if we were still in high school. i am thinking about how that first kiss felt, shared through the open window of an old mini van. that is what i am thinking of. i am young and when i hear those words forever, i catch them in my hands, shaped them into a heart and give them freely to the one who stirs the butterflies to dancing.

(song lyrics "Forever" by Ben Harper)