tea and taxes

i am switching to tea for a while. i love its lightness, and the nuances of flavor that spread over my tongue with each taste: with every sip, i feel as though i am entering a mansion with countless doors to open, endless rooms to explore.

one of those small pleasures in life. i just hope im not trading one addiction for another (probably a hopeless hope; aren't we spending our lives doing just that?).

this morning i am sorting our life into piles. insurance, water bills, verizon, mechanic receipts. i am surrounded by little islands of paper that i have populated with numbers myself. it's hard sometimes not to let my spirits be dragged into a seemingly redundant cycle with little redemption. working, spending, paying, working again. i feel it most after a long day when i get home just in time to eat a quick dinner (if you can call it that) and grunt a few words to my spouse before trying to get some sleep in before it starts all over.

today was the first day of real sunshine in a while. i sat reading under its golden rays for a while, soaking it in like a flower or a blade of grass, trying to get my color back. it helped infuse me with a little hope, i think. this is the first winter i can remember that really seeped under my skin to my bones, freezing me up within. i am ready to be unfrozen.

usually, i dont like being a hermit, but today mikey and i stayed at home just doing things with each other and it was really nice. we didnt get into our cars once. didnt get out our wallets, or out of our PJ's until well past noon. we've just been here experiencing each other for a change and despite having to weather moody moments, i feel connected again (like when two magnets get within range of each other--ZIIP!).

and now we're going to eat some home-made dinner and play video games. that's right. VIDEO GAMES.